Friday, March 31, 2006

a late late report -- cil 2006 day 3

this report should have been up on 3/24/2006. i was late.

utilities for safeguarding your computing environment the speaker introduced 5 sections of security ware at lost cost. the sections included antivirus software, firewalls, spyware detection and removal, anti-trojans and rootkit removers, and other useful utilities. security ware mentioned in this session would fit for mid to small size libraries. with the collection of the security ware, we can propose a series of information session on security ware for our members.

SEs vs libraries
SE=search engine. gary price from ask.com talked about how search engines, like ask.com, of course, should be used by libraries and librarians. nothing impressive except that the search result from ask.com presents a well-designed link categories.

open source software for libraries
Glen Horton from gclc threw out a couple of slides on different types of open source (translate: free) software that can be used by libraries. The categories include digital collection (i'm surprised), ils, web content filtering/caching, wifi hotspot authentication, and thin client solutions.
another group from miami university libraries from oxford, ohio, reported on a new library system that categorizes the resources by course. this new resource index became popular among students, while faculty seem to be more inclined to resources by subject.

the web 2.0 challenge to libraries
one of the best sessions of the conference. the speaker, paul miller, from talis, talked about how we should push libraries everywhere, make libraries seeable, and how we should disaggregate library systems to build on our own needs, not what vendors impose on us.

virtual reference, im chat, and beyond
nothing innovative of this session.

something i noticed: a lot of vendors/publishers have people with british accent give presentations. does that add more value to the product? well...that's at least the underline message. hehe.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

i'm back from the trip

atlanta is fine, but just cannot be bothered with this life anymore. it's just too much to handle. unnecessarily unhealthy.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

an unavoidable day -- cil 2006 day 2

for a 3-day conference, sessions on the 2nd day are usually the lamest. cil 2006 presents no exception.

planning for a handheld mobile future
i was checking out carol's blueberry yesterday and we both laughed at its extremely slow response in browsing the web. then there was this session advocating mobile devices usage in library environment. e-books' comeback kicks off another round of development in super-reflective screens, e.g. microsoft's new ultra-mobile pc with a 7-inch display, usb ports, wi-fi capability, and a touch pad interface. glad to hear that some database providers, like lexisnexis,westlaw,pubmed, have developed interfaces for mobile devices. but it all makes sense that many of them are in the medical and legal areas. this echoes the findings that people use handheld device to seek for answers instead of searching or browsing.
yes, new gadgets certainly show a lot of exciting opportunities for libraries to bring on, but sometimes i just couldn't help feeling that the format outbeats the content in this field. hope time will prove that i am wrong.

exploiting the value of structured metadata
lorcan dempsey from oclc explored the value of structured metadata through 4 layers, flat application, rich interaction, data is the new functionality, and participation. a numeric scale was used to measure the audience level for individual book titles (though i wasn't sure what it was for). on the scale, the higher the score, the more likely the book was to be found in the research library; and then the academic library, and then the public library, and the lowest score corresponds to the school library.
things to add on my check-out list: livesearch, ajax, finctionfinder

vendor visit

eos luncheon
another library automation system. unfortunately i'm not all that familiar with products in this field to enable me to make any comparison of the product.

new library, new technologies, new services
it's actually not the "web 2.0" new; but all the challenges and solutions talked during the session are just indeed down-to-the-earth. so too little surprise, but a good session to reinforce some established understandings.

digital preservation & the open web
a disappointing session. nothing new about digitization, but not even clear clue of the presentation. no mention about the notion of "open web", let alone how digital preservation was related to it.

taxonomy tales
this was the second half of a consecutive session, so it was all broken to me.

tomorrow is another day.

2.0 vs. 1.0 -- cil 2006 day 1

i am right now at computers in libraries 2006 conference in dc.

there is probably no need for me to post about the conference on my one-woman-show blog because everything i have to talk about has already been covered by professional bloggers, writing exclusively for infotoday, and more. but i'm still writing in compliment of the great work of the conference organizors.

search engine report
-- gotta check out the new ask.com site. the google style interface is acceptable. how about the content?
-- google is more than a search engine. it is an advertising company, an ms killer, and a lot yet to come.
-- yahoo! still leads as a people mediated search via tagging and personalization. watch out yahoo! research and yahoo! mindset.
-- all those google projects, scholars, books, prints, which generated the wave of copyright issues. but check out the projects. these won't be simple cases, gordon ron parker v. google, perfect 10 v. google,etc., it's another revolution of society, or human history, and google and whatever it represents is going to win.
-- china and search. chris sherman, the speaker, was just back from his trip to china. some of his takes on china and search is kinda interesting to me, for instance, chinese people feel that they need censorship and filtering when they browse on the web. really want to know how he came to that conclusion. not that i don't believe what he said; as a matter of fact, i sort of understand. people in china probably want censorship over flg related reports because we are annoyed by the so-called lunzi; but people in china may not object censorship on 1989 event because we are afraid to know the truth. anyway, the speaker seems to be very positive in the search market in china, like everybody else, except for the bush government.

wikis in action
binghamton university library applies wiki technology on their staff intranet. unfortunately, i'm still not convinced of wiki's big role in the library community, or in any qulity content environment. you see, again, some degree of cencorship is not a bad thing.

vendor visit--info confidential

keeping one click ahead
a lot of tools to track the development of search engine are presented. i'm not listing the sites mentioned because they will also be available at infotoday site fairly soon (i will link the link asap), and part of the presentation is already up at http://www.resourceshelf.com/currentcil06.html. i'm certainly glad to see some warning about quality content vs. chitchat, e.g. blogs, which will put me into the old-fashion group, which i don't care.

federated search engines: lessons learned
this session is ahead before me. three groups of speakers from northwestern university, university of pittsburgh, and university of central florida gave advice on detailed issues when implementing federated search engines and user behavior observation, e.g. making it as simple as google; monitoring usage stats, esp. turnaways; on-going marketing efforts; implementing formal evaluation process; using consortium model to save trouble in hardware and coding efforts, but giving up some degree of management features in return; setting up deadlines for the project; forming focus group to receive feed backs, etc. etc. etc.

(god, i'm sleepy...it's 11:55pm)

searching the new digital formats
the presentation was on blog search and podcast search. the first speaker was a bit too fast in going over her resource list. the podcase search presented a better structure, and i'm glad to receive a full list of resources to check out. at least, i feel oriented.

creative visibility: toolbars and game nights
uncg's library set up an example of integrating library's resources and services into the firefox toolbar and made library more visible throughout users' browsing. there is limitation of the program, of course, for instance, the function is limited to firefox browser only, but it is a neat and handy tool to add on as it does not hurt in any observable sense yet.
wake forest library introduced a game night to bring students into the library. this could open our eyes on a series of activities that libraries can host to publicize among young users.

vendor visit--info confidential

digi techforum: looking at dead (library 1.0) & emerging (library 2.0) technologies
omg! the comedy show of the year! i bet that tons of blogs will record this fantastic show, so i'm not repeating here. some notes for me to check out: google office, the writely; tracking your package in a 2.0 way; make library site a good destination, not necessarily a starting portal--em, i said that years ago, hehe; myspace.com(well, according to the speaker, i'm so out of it as i still do not have a mysapce account. but this is a community action. so what can we do in chinese online community? i've learned my lesson: i'm blogging on blogger while all my fellows blog on msn. i'm so out of loop. not again this time with myspace, i hope.); facebook (fewer hands up in the room in user counting); pandora (even fewer).

well...i'm blogging, e-mailing, msning, google talking, phone chatting, and eating leftovers when i am writing down this post...so if i'm not yet 2.0, i'm at least in between 1.0 and 2.0. and....good...bedtime!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

城市间

至今,新工作的出差机会都只是让我故地重游,而且都让我对故地有点失望。也许毕竟是在工作状态,人比较紧张的缘故。但也许是因为,25岁时眼中的世界是永远不能再重温了。

现在人在DC,住在一家叫carlyle的旅店,离dupon circle很近。不大的suite列着几件modern style的家俱。可是墙脚,门窗和地毯都透着破劲。旧不怕,就怕破。很像在这样的城市里的生活,光鲜的外表盖着拮据的里料。生活在这样的反差中,会让人始终处于一种不满足的状态,会exciting,也会挺累。巴尔地摩是这样,纽约更甚。忍不住想念亚特兰大了,就是挺舒服。

南方就这样一点一点渗了进来。

Saturday, March 11, 2006

说点最近的自己

好像没在这里揭露过这么physical的自己,跟网上大家的奔来奔去有一拼了。我也来念念女人经。

买了一个漂亮的水杯,带了一加仑水来办公室,很高兴地发现自己还是很能喝水的,只是这种装饰工作要做足,希望对我的皮肤有好处。前两天在网上买的几见clarins的护肤品昨天也到了,主要有美白和防皱的。因为看网上介绍的经验,clarins的美白产品有去斑功效,正好也是我用的牌子,所以要试试。另外,前几个礼拜,发现自己嘴角有了一条小细纹,知道是到了防皱的时候了。再加一个晒后修复,因为觉得防晒用品一般沃尔玛的就可以了,但修复产品还是要用好的。

还有就是,买了一些化妆品,因为觉得自己已经到了不能再素面朝天的年龄了。不过每天上班是不化的,早上起不来,还是睡眠更重要;晚上或周末出门才化一点,当然是淡的。其实前几年也有一阵一阵试化妆,但对选到的粉底和眼影都不满意,所以都很快不了了之了。这次突然开了窍,一下选对了眼影的色系,原来亚洲女生,特别是皮肤不白和单眼皮的,不能用任何红色或深色系列,而浅紫浅蓝什么的都很适合。又稍微钻研了一下单眼皮的化法,知道颜色主要上在上眼皮中部以后。而针对自己瞳孔小,下眼线是不能画线的,但可以加眼影,就很活泼了。至于粉底液,也不知怎么的,突然找到一款特别适合的,不论是从颜色,质地,或效果来说,所以很高兴。化点淡妆,人精致一些,看镜子里的自己,心情也好很多。

好像很多事情都是这样,就是一个水到渠成,该来的时候才会来,之前怎么强求都没用。一个老朋友的聊天时对我说过,要有耐心。

长不大

看庄羽的小说和听许巍的歌是一回事,文字和音乐并非才华横溢,可是对青葱岁月的唏嘘和感慨都无比真诚。真诚的东西总是最能打动我的,于是即使作品不尽如人意,仍能乐此不疲地追随他们,期望着从字里音间能重回唐朝。

可是,怀抱这一份期望,我们怎么长大?

Monday, March 06, 2006

一个八十年代的时刻

昨晚重温了一个八十年代的时刻,就是李安得奥斯卡最佳导演奖时,竟然literally振臂欢呼了一小嗓子,立即觉得自己回到女排拿n连冠那会儿,很久违。

然后想到与老爸一起看比赛的日子。其实也不懂什么,但凑热闹的习惯就是当年养成的。

然后想到,昨天是老爸的六十岁生日,按他的算法。依我说,明年再过吧。

Friday, March 03, 2006

HBR的审判

有这样一个现象,现代人寿命增长的同时,社会主体的年龄在日趋年轻;导致的结果就是,被视为过时,废物的群体不断增大。

HBR三月的一篇叫inside the mind of the chinese consumer的文章里宣称,"companies should forget what they've learned about china' generation x -- people currently in their late twenties and thirties -- when marketing to the country's late teens and early twentysomethings, or generation y."

--就这么着,俺被扫进了历史的垃圾堆。有点太冤了。

Friday, February 24, 2006

徐静蕾

在看徐静蕾的blog,因为想让自己喜欢这个人。可还是到不了那份,以老徐来称呼她的那份,像她真正的粉丝。在blog里,徐静蕾兢兢业业地絮道拍电影的点点滴滴,每天的体会,可是不怎么出彩。不是说拍电影的日子平淡,虽然那些日子在她的笔下也的确平淡;而是说她对文字感觉实在很一般,真算不上什么才女吧。可是这并不影响徐小姐blog的点击率。

这让我想到这两天看洪晃的“我的非正常生活”的一点体会。里面反复在用别人的口强调,洪晃的英语很牛。come on,都什么年头了,还这样夸奖一个人的英语,难免让人觉得小家子气,难免会贻笑大方。可是因为是洪晃,英语好也真成了可众口交赞的一项本领了。

做名人真好。

至于我为什么想让自己喜欢徐静蕾,理由其实挺私人,因为总觉得徐长得像表妹。还是去给她打个电话吧。

Thursday, February 23, 2006

trillian

i think now i understand why google talk/gmail chat is so funky -- it's all because of trillian. i have to say that this time google makes me uncomfortable. maybe more in the future?

the free trillian basic collects all major chat/IM tools and puts them in one interface. however, google chat service is an exception; it is only available in trillian pro, a paid service.

what an evilly smart idea! trillian will win chatters from all vendors by luring them into its one-stop shop, and then easily roll this success over to google's chat, which is too young to compete with the major players like msn and yahoo!; and what's more, trillian pro charges!

i am not spoiled by all the free services that google fed us before. i wouldn't mind if they charge for whatever they solidly developed. however, trillian pro is not technically sophisticated enough to be a charging service, compared to many other free products google holds. it is just a brilliant idea built upon other players' yearly efforts. of course, it is perfectly legitimate to make profits out of pure smart ideas. it is just...this is not google.

anyhow, trillian is the master of the domain/king of the county/queen of the castle/lord of the manor. i really enjoy the detailed control it offers. i'm not the chat type of person, but i may even buy the trillian pro in the future. who knows? it's only 25 bucks.

more洪晃及其他

看别人对洪晃的描述,总结出大姐大的一个特色是,把像我辈私下里只对体几说的话,不分场合不分对象地说出来。总结的有点夸张,但就这么个意思。比如说她在批评女生下属交活不全时说到,“有这样的吗,交一半的稿就算交了,你们打炮也打一半吗?你们肯定不干。”嗯,挺上我的狐朋狗友的路子,只不过身处异乡的我们会用fuck取代一切打炮的同义词--还是中文丰富啊,你看,打炮,多么文雅风趣呀;抑或是我们的英文还是太有限。扯远了,只是想标榜一下自己与洪晃可能是一类人的体会。

上个周末看了“断背山”和小贾的“世界”。两部都需要重看,才能再说点什么。对“断背山”,我很脸红,因为没有字幕,很多没听明白--一直以为自己听南方口音已经很不错了呢;真是要戒骄戒躁呀。至于“世界”,有点淡,有点碎,容我再体会体会。

Friday, February 17, 2006

洪晃

看洪晃的blog,把我乐歪了。好几次必须关了browser来笑。不仅是因为她的痞,还因为她的真,和别的一些什么。

很多人,特别是像我这种人,都在侠女洪身上找到很多共鸣的东西。但我是决不会自比的,那是自不量力,要被人笑邯郸学步的。因为,人还是讲出身的。但admire,worship,跟跟屁总可以吧。

想想这位侠女洪也真有意思。人出名总有点卖点,政治,经济,文化,whatever,总得沾点什么,就算是芙蓉姐姐,也要摆几个pose,才能出名。可我们的侠女洪,偏偏逆流而上,先生生地红起来,然后才弄点自己的副业。其实也没那么悬,就是,出身鸿门+才华+京痞=洪晃出名。

这么短的一篇贴子,两次提到出身,有妄自菲薄之嫌。其实一点都不是,我都爱死我爹我娘了。只是人要识时务,要踏实,要甘心做一个观伶人。

改了

不带手机,戴手表了。人这一辈子真tmd长啊。

what i do, what i eat, what i wear

google--domain: https://www.google.com/hosted/Home

peking duck @ california pizza kitchen: 去其精华,取其糟粕.

dark green makeups--finally got there.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

梨汤

半锅水(我的锅)+3只梨+煮20分钟+4小块冰糖=yummy梨汤。 okay,我的第一份菜谱...真不好意思,都不是菜。

听冰糖在水中溶化的声音,很好听。

很不像话

今天上班极其衣冠不整...极其。

渐渐地,喝咖啡有喝药的感觉了。这个味觉上的转变让人有点心惊肉跳,因为咖啡曾是我的一个重要标志,这种变化简直就是identity lost。嗯,少了一个addiction,少了一份牵挂,也少了一种乐趣。我的blackcoffeetogo.com就这么夭折了;反正chapel hill franklin st.上的那家咖啡屋也已经去向不明,我就不要再坚持什么了吧。

细纹

今早对镜贴花黄时,看见左边嘴角在活动中有了一条短小精悍的细纹。放下所有的表情,仔细观看,细纹的痕迹仍然依稀可见。好好好,这样就没有什么包袱了。在意淫中我们喝三壶老酒,然后去笑傲江湖,如何?

Friday, February 10, 2006

乱过

病还没全好,人也就觉乱七八糟。总头疼。以前是不敢吃药的,听娘的话,睡觉就成。这次把头疼药混在其他药里浑吃,一吃就上瘾了,停不下来。娘知道,又要骂我不听话,自己乱过了。

gmail加了chat功能,可以直接在email信箱里聊天,不用装任何聊天软件了。前两天还特着急,觉得聊天市场全被msn占了;今天就省心了。

在看“圈里圈外”,有点觉得,如果自己没出国,精神状态可能也不过如此,都没什么好盼望的。

Sunday, February 05, 2006

东京物语

建议每一个在海外的游子都看一看,或者说每一个长大的孩子。虽然是1953年拍的片子,但主题并不陈旧;再加上电影语言简洁清晰,堪称经典。

故事讲的是一对老夫妻去东京看望儿女们,可是儿女们的生活里已经没有了父母的位置。各自成家的儿女们的冷漠与自私表达得并不戏剧化,只是很真实地流淌着,揉搓人心,让人带着三份的恨意,却有七份是无奈。而父母们始终微笑着,对儿女们只有理解和感激,这是世界上最不计回报与得失的爱了。

但电影的意义并没有停止于此,让人简单地谴责唏嘘几个儿女的无情,却是借儿媳之口,对我们大家做了一个总结,就是最后一段关于人生几个阶段的对话。延伸的意思是说,在我们年少时,我们与父母在一起,那时我们会像电影中的小女儿,为哥哥姐姐的自私而愤怒;等我们成家立业为自己的生活疲于奔命时,我们不大可能只为父母活着了,很多时候父母都不能是我们生活的重心;可是等我们也老去,我们的儿女,老板,社会不再需要我们时,如果那时还有机会,我们会回到年迈的父母身边,陪他们走完最后一程。但不是每个人与父母都能有这样的缘分,要不也不会有子欲报而亲不在的痛心了。是呀,生活总难免让人失望。即使有一天我们为自己的生活选择了自私,那也只是人生的一个阶段,走过去便是另一番天地了。

无论如何,这部安安静静的电影让我感动得落泪,提醒我好电影是什么样的。

Friday, February 03, 2006

ie7 beta

just installed and tried. not bad. some simple first impressions:

1. integrated mozilla's tab function. good. 从善如流,知错就改。
2. a close button is place at each tab--a usability improvement, at least for me.
3. f11 full screen function. neat.
4. simple and get-to-the-point menu bar.
5. favorites center is more available, promoting its usage.
6. more rss feed friendly.
7. ie7 beta reported that they fixed most of the bugs recorded on http://www.positioniseverything.net/explorer.html. --lol! i remembered myself struggling with ie's positioning while i was still dreaming about tableless layout throughout those css files. 时过境迁,俺业已退出江湖了呀。

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

感冒

从前天早上开始,昨天请了假没上班,有点严重。就是老发低烧,身上疼。今天疼得不厉害了,就高高兴兴上班来了。但嗓子又废掉了,干咳着烦人。正好shut up,不用寒喧,也不用开会。去年也差不多是这个时候感冒发烧的吧?其实一年生这么一次小病也蛮好,免得忘了健康是什么滋味。

狗年了,大家都走狗屎运吧。

Thursday, January 26, 2006

not a surprise to me...













You fit in with:
Spiritualism



Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms.


40% spiritual.
60% reason-oriented.















Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Monday, January 23, 2006

在别处

因为出差的缘故,被迫又来到一年前游览过的san antonio。并不是一年前玩得不好,只是river walk的美丽小了一点,承载不了太多回忆,经不住反复推敲琢磨。无论你如何更换进入的渠道,就那么些有限的观光点,总会跃然眼前,伴随的总是往日的身影,驱也驱不走,很是鬼魅。

可不是嘛,潮湿的石板路,riverwalk的水比秦淮河的水还绿,小小的河两岸窄窄的步行道被常青树们遮蔽,弯弯曲曲,若隐若现。虽然河两岸的餐厅酒吧延绵不绝,音乐此起彼伏,永远人声鼎沸的样子,尤其在夜晚华灯初上时,河水倒映着灯火,更给这一片浮华锦上添花;虽然如此,可是--“谁说人多就不寂寞了”?

也许是水太多了,这个地方总透着阵阵凉意,于是喧闹与繁华反而拉远了心与这座城市的距离,让人倍觉无奈,灵魂鬼魅们就跑出来做怪了。

********

今天下午,站在五街交汇的路口,看见街对面曾经跓足的麦当劳,忍不住拿出相机,拍下街景,希望在相片里看见一年前的那群年轻人。正在收相机之时,迎面走来一个陌生人,笑盈盈地说到,"i almost want to take a picture of you, but i don't have a camera",然后问我需不需要他帮忙照一张照片,我匆匆谢绝了,但心里真诚感谢,很难得被人这样赞美,受用得不行,这才发现自己还是很小丸子的。

若干年后如果我还能站在这个点,也许我会发现,相对于时间而言,今天的我和一年前的我其实是那么接近的。当你生活在别处时,会温暖许多。

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

雕刻时光

a very beautiful day today, esp. that it was after a nasty rainy winter day.

下午四点半,终于从办公室溜了出来,就是想在今天珍贵的冬阳下,走一段。于是如果你正好路过midtown,你会看见一个满脸倦怠的亚黄妞,手握一个starbucks的杯子,艰难地踏着高跟靴,摇曳在车流中。

可是,虽然艰难,虽然倦怠,虽然身处异乡,虽然茫然无力,还是希望这一刻能被留住,在今后的岁月里能像这冬天楼厦间的这一抹阳光,在凛冽中温暖我。

用很喜欢的一部网络小说TIME里的一句结束今天,开始新的一岁:
你说你是孤苦伶仃的,我何尝又不是呢?

完美生活

青春的岁月
我们身不由己
只因这胸中
燃烧的梦想
青春的岁月
放浪的生涯
就任这时光
奔腾如流水

体会这狂野
体会孤独
体会这欢乐
爱恨离别
体会这狂野
体会孤独
这是我的完美生活
也是你的完美生活

我多想看到你
那依旧灿烂的笑容
再一次释放自己
胸中那灿烂的情感
我多想告诉你
那依旧灿烂的笑容
再一次释放自己

all things must go, 就像所有二十岁的日子

老杜走了,去加州了。老杜是我们uga gang中的一员,也是最后留在uga的一位。他的离开意味着与uga, athens的牵连完完全全地结束了。其实结束不一定是坏事,比如老杜的离开,是因为他找到了工作,去加州教书育人去了,于是我们这群人都算散得其所。

其实这个晚上关于开始,结束,妥协,成长,我还断断续续写了好几段,但自觉心思不静,写的东西太过强烈,于是全部删掉,只剩下这两句流水帐。还是喜欢流水帐,让水把一些柔软的东西都带走,只留下客观存在,漂浮在另一个时空里,和我们所有看似逝去的青春岁月。

三部电影

马达加斯加
非洲,我是一定会去的。

千里走单骑
从预告里看到农民,小孩,高仓健,和中国的山水,都是我喜欢的元素,于是很期待一次感动,未遂。可能是自己还不太接受这种抒情式的电影,总很恶俗地期盼浓厚的情节,总之不是很满足。有点怀疑自己是不是丧失了对电影的味觉,好东西也尝不出来了。

艺伎回忆录
小姑娘的表演非同凡响,为什么没什么人提到?其他都平平。可以感受到的是,这是一个很有潜力的故事,但编剧和导演都道行太浅,难免有捉襟见肘的尴尬。

Monday, January 09, 2006

最近看的两部热片

无极&如果爱--吓死我了。

如果你像我一样,喜欢收藏网上流传的各种pp图片,那么你把自己的图片收藏翻出来随便看看,就是一部“无极”的精华了。至于情节,语言,音乐等等,都是无稽,无稽,又无稽。真的不敢相信,这部作品的作者同样作出了“霸王别姬”来。不过想想,同样作出“活着”的作者也会有“十面埋伏”这样的异数,也就劝自己宽宽心了--原来导而优都要抽抽疯的。还是不要一棒子打死。热诚期待着老谋子的下一部“千里走单骑”,然后凯歌同志也会走回正道的。2006年会是一个好年景。

在“如果爱”里,很高兴看到中国电影对歌舞剧的尝试,而且也看到很大的发展空间(像常委发言)。可是为爱说爱的故事总是太牵强。不期望所有的故事都是现实主义(该死,又用了“主义”二字,自己先呕一下)的叙述,偶尔阳春浪漫一把也是令人可喜的。可是讲童话也要有一点专业精神呀,不行就先读读安徒生,格林什么的,不要无病呻吟,都是老大不小了。。。

嗯,抱怨挺多,打住。

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

do i need a chart to tell me about my life?

the hell with it...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
4.8
Mind:
4.2
Body:
6.1
Spirit:
4.5
Friends/Family:
2.9
Love:
0
Finance:
7.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz


Your Life Analysis:

Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score is on the low end. Making key changes to different aspects of your life will bring you greater fulfillment. Do not be discouraged. Seek help outside yourself if need be. There is always time to change, and change will bring many rewards.

Mind: Your mind rating is a score of your mind's clarity, ability, and health. Higher scores indicate an advancement in knowledge, clear and capable thinking, high mental health, and pure thought free of interference. Your mind score is rather low, which means that your mental state is not in tune. Learn to filter out the noise of everyday life. Unplug, relax, read a good book. Take up a new area of study. Simplify and focus your mental energy and your mind function will improve.

Body: Your body rating measures your body's health, fitness, and general wellness. A healthy body contributes to a happy life, however many of us are lacking in this area. Your body score is fairly average, which means there is room for improvement. Keep a focus on your physical health. Protect your body as it is your most valuable physical asset. Nutrition, stress reduction, and exercise are key.

Spirit: Your spirit rating seeks to capture in a number that elusive quality which is found in your faith, your attitude, and your philosophy on life. A higher score indicates a greater sense of inner peace and balance. You seem to be lacking in spirit. Improve your score by refining your beliefs and searching for answers to philosophical questions. Consider new belief systems if your current beliefs are not rewarding you.

Friends/Family: Your friends and family rating measures your relationships with those around you, and is based on how large, healthy, and dependable your social network is. You scored at the very low end for friends and family. This means that your social network is weak and not functioning. Consider re-establishing old bonds as you work on forging new ones. You will be greatly rewarded in return.

Love: Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. Your love score is very low, indicating trouble. There is love out there for you. Seek the advice of wise people on how to go about finding it. Do not lose hope.

Finance: Your finance rating is a score that rates your current financial health and stability. You have a rather good financial score, which is not all that common these days. Keep doing what works. Avoid common pitfalls and save for the future. You will be glad you did.

Friday, December 09, 2005

mr.bean

重温mr.bean,忽然发现与其说他是一位喜剧大师,不如说他是一位孤独大师:他自己逛街,自己上教堂,自己去海边或者游乐场,自己在公园的长板凳上吃金枪鱼三明治,自己过节,自己去豪华饭店吃生日宴,而且很擅长自己给自己写贺卡,最后总在闯完祸后独自溜走。于是,当他驾驶着他的那辆英国式小车,只浮出一个空洞脑袋在方向盘上时,我没法再体会到多年前看一部纯喜剧时的开怀了。

人是从心开始老的。

Thursday, December 08, 2005

豆豆的生日

明天是豆豆一周岁生日,是个大日子。豆豆是谁呢?豆豆是老金和金嫂的大千斤(希望还有金二豆,金三豆啊)。金嫂是谁呢?金嫂是老金上得厅堂,下得厨房的发妻。老金呢?是千万个留美中国学生中的一名,很普通的一名,也很生动。他的故事,留给一本书吧,今天还是先说说豆豆。

豆豆不哭也不闹,会盯着你看,会恭喜你,会跟你byebye,会告诉你谁是豆豆。

豆豆还不太会说话走路,但已经很会看脸色(是谁给小小的豆豆脸色看?)。爸爸妈妈一天一班地轮流看护豆豆。妈妈在家时,豆豆敢多撒撒娇;可如果是爸爸,“乌鸡崽”(爸爸对豆豆的称呼)便只能安安静静地待在自己的摇篮床中。一岁的小娃娃便有这样的悟性,懂事得让人心疼。其实女孩子娇横一些更容易幸福,所以希望豆豆多一些娇横,便多一点幸福。

给豆豆买礼物的晚上是这些日子以来最愉快的时间。正如李宗盛在写给女儿的歌中所说,孩子就是希望,看见他们真的是可以忘却烦恼,感受天堂的。豆豆是她身边每一个人的天堂,就为这一点,我们衷心感谢豆豆及老金夫妇。

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

苏童+贾樟柯+周杰伦

=刺青时代
this is killing me! hope this one will work out. then 2006 is worthwhile.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

jimmy crack corn

caught this saying on last night's seinfeld. learned that it's from a subversive civil war song, blue-tailer fly, in which a slave sings about how his master got drunk, fell, hit his head, and died. like many old stories/expressions, there are different versions to follow. but we now use it for a common purpose, as sung by the slave, "and i don't care".

folksongs are always interesting to discover, like "cats in the cradle", very southern and slightly sad.

Monday, November 28, 2005

honeymoon ended

这个空白的thanksgiving正式宣告,与atlanta的蜜月期结束了。it's frightening now; it's speechlessly frightening.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

back to the gym

thanks to a sweating experience at my friend's gym of his university, i decided to join my own gym. so here comes the lame and unavoidable la fitness. tonight i'm back to yoga and swimming.

one of the reasons that i'm not a fan of working out is that it's just too repeatative. yoga is a good example. i am always high on it when i start off, with new teachers and new sets of poses. then the challenge and freshness are gone, and when i need to repeat the poses, i'm off. following the same logic, i can never be on a running machine or whatever; it's repeating itself from the very beginning.

this time, i dun know how long i will keep up. it's just one of the things i cannot control in my life; so let it be what it's got to be.

Monday, November 14, 2005

"goodby, lenin!"

一个说给母亲的谎言,一个说给一代人的谎言。超越所有社会变革动荡的,是平常人的爱心。

Friday, November 04, 2005

google's digitization

Some examples of google's digitization program's efforts:
http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2005/11/preserving-public-domain-books.html.

i'm leaving all the disputes to business men, scholars, legislators, and politicians. just one comment: they do need some good reading tool. the interface is a disgrace to big names like google.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

moved to atlanta

十月初完成了从hammond, la到atlanta, ga的搬家,another markable change吧。

是在一片hurricane带来的混乱中离开louisiana的,没有时间好好和hammond告别,没有时间游览一下还留在我new orleans to do list上的地点,就很狼狈地逃了出来。人在其中时,觉得自己的生活很sad,现在跳出来了,才发现,那一片土地原来更悲伤。与我而言,那不过是人生一段不长的经历,可是那就是louisiana的全部了。

一直觉得自己和atlanta有一中特别的缘分,对她有一中特别的眷顾。现在终于来还这份缘了吧。要做一个insider了,不免会从另一个更为critical的view来重新measure这个城市,于是还会有这样那样的不满。不知到哪里才能停下来。最近挑剔的cousin到了melbourne,被迷住了,满意得不得了,good for her。我也会有自己的melbourne的。

也许atlanta来得有点晚了吧,有些东西已经不太能让我兴奋了,比如ikea,比如bebe,guess,express这些和王楠一起兴奋过的店,都已不太愿意涉足,真让自己失望。

搬家的另一个特征是,你会和久别的朋友们重新联系上,互相亲热一番,真诚的寒喧,很好。

好吧,从现在起,我能坐在border's看车来车往,上whole foods的大食堂,周末和朋友一起看电视,发呆,也good for me了。

tin tin & Herge

据Herge说,中国宋代的山水画中,人物的位置给了他很大的启发,因为你需要去寻找藏才茫茫画面中的人物,这一点与直线条的西方绘画有很大的不同。Herge对不同绘画技巧的学习和运用使得他的很多作品在将近一个世纪后仍然成为热销吧。

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

moving

right now in the process of moving to atlanta. was thrilled at the beginning, but not now. when the sense of home is deprived, the feeling of drifting rules.

a lowercase life, which was under my account with southeastern is going to be down for the coming month. i may use dreamhost as its new home, but haven't decided on the host name for the new site yet. will deal with it later.

live'n learn; live'n learn.

Friday, September 16, 2005

just like that...

a friend of mine went to harvard from uno because of katrina.

so here is the plan: have a natural disaster destroy everything
you've ever owned.....Go to Harvard (period).

Sunday, September 04, 2005

katrina

i am in katrina...

Friday, August 26, 2005

bye 娘

娘's flight was boarding the moment i wrote down these words. have a safe trip, 娘。

两个月的时间足够形成一些习惯,比如喝牛奶时喊一声就行,比如不用记着倒垃圾,比如中午总按时回家美美吃一顿。而现在要和这种生活方式break up,是很痛苦的。

无论如何,希望娘在大洋那头好好过,尽情享受我miss掉的一切,比如盐水鸭,比如流行的颜色,比如亲友团聚。我呢,也要好好过,要积极,要勇敢,要健康,也要想家。

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

august brief

今天在mitbbs上做了两个无聊的小测试,结果什么的都不记得了,只知道这两个测试很久以前都在这里做过,结论就是,i'm too old啦。

上周和娘去florida的seagrove beachside度了几天假,总算让她这趟没有太白跑。这周末她就要回去了,我又要没饭吃了。

昨天去参加了bonnie的葬礼。虽然与她接触不多,心里还是很为她惋惜难过的。不过我们向死而生吧。

八月底了,lovebugs开始活动了。

Friday, August 12, 2005

涨麻木了

油价涨麻木了。今天在hammond, la的shell加了2.57的油,还排队,真是out of control。遥想2001年时,还在athens, ga边上一个不知名的小路边加了85c的油,看到90几cent就恨得牙痒痒,觉得真是tmd大江东去呀。

5年后,当我们在加6块钱的油时,肯定会眼巴巴地想起今天的油价,再感捶胸之恨的。嗯,人还是往前看的好。

Saturday, August 06, 2005

五年

明天,是五年的一个纪念,说出来把自己吓一跳。日子总是越过越快,快得自己追不上。

2005年8月7号的一个特别之处,就是妈能在我身边。心里总觉抱歉,这一次没能好好陪她,只是一味无可自拔地沉浸在这样那样的痛苦中,连话也说不出。妈不在身边时,总希望着,如果有家人在身边,至少可以诉说。可也许什么都太久了,什么都透彻了,也就什么都不说了。其实连做都没有用,说能怎么样呢?

in case 明天家里的网络有出问题,今日有网今日上了。

Thursday, July 28, 2005

七月底了

看看我这个月的schedule,一点也没闲着,所以也就justified没来这里放噘词了。

值得一提的是,这个月,老杜拿了博士,郭8过了第一个qualify。有朋友的朋友找到工作,朋友们也都还在找。

娘在的缘故,让我和家里也近了一层,心里自然多了一些惦记,比如两个表妹的终生大事正把家里弄得鸡犬不宁。可是这种烦恼其实是一种人间的幸福呀,让我仿佛看见温暖的人间烟火。不知到自己这些年独自在外,错过了多少这样的幸福,更不知道还将错过多少。

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

the 4th of july weekend

:: made a trip to syracuse, ny, and kept my promise to an old friend.
:: disgusted by jersy city.
:: questioned my passion to nyc.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

“历史的终结”

今天在mitbbs上很惊喜地发现,前不久lao du发过来的一篇好文竟是drunkpiano的作品,字字珠玑地道出了我们这一代留学生的窘迫,原来是“终结”感;也就是我总在电话里与娘喋喋不休地抱怨着的“到头了”的感觉--下一站可以是月球了。

再次引述全文,算是人生的一个注脚,and //salute drunkpiano again--

前些年有本挺热闹的书,叫《历史的终结》,这个书的大致意思是说,冷战之后,苏联阵营败下阵来,西方的文明大获全胜,以后咱们跟历史就没什么可讨价还价的了,顺着西方文明这条道一直走到黑就行了。虽然这个说法看上去让人觉得很宿命,因而很省心,广大中外知识分子还是对这个提法表示了极大的愤慨。怎么能说西方文明就是历史的尽头呢?我们的主观能动性呢?从此以后,我们要站在什么旗帜下振臂高呼呢?知识分子们爱冒险的心啊,很不甘心。

“历史的终结”这个词到底是什么意思,我从来就没有真正理解过,所以也无意于去赞成或者批评。我能够理解某条公路的终结,或者某个聚会的终结,或者某个婚姻的终结,但是,“历史的终结”?它实在缺乏一个时间或者空间上的刻度。依我看,只要时间在流逝,历史就在行进,说“历史的终结”,就像说“圆的方”一样,让人不可理喻。

不过,前几天,站在美国康州的一个郊区,某一个瞬间,我突然意识到,自己眼前呈现的,就是历史的终结。

我看到的景象其实很简单。延绵不绝的草坪,随着大地的弧度起伏,路边有一些槐树,树干挺拔,树冠盛开,站在春天的阳光下,绿意盎然,标致得简直就是树中的西施。在草坪和绿树的掩映下,露出一栋栋独立的小楼,如果仔细看,楼门口一般都有一块草坪,草坪周围,是一道道低矮的栅栏,白色的,或者原木色的,精致,平和,一点不象防范外人的样子,似乎建造它,只是为了让院子里的
樱花桃花梨花有一种“探”出来的效果。

这样的祥和美好,简直令人心碎。但是,站在那里,莫名地,我想到了福山那本《历史的终结》。我想到“历史的终结”这个“圆的方”,在视觉上,就是这个样子。想到历史这个“老人”风尘仆仆地赶了成千上万年的路,就是为了赶到这里,打开铺盖卷,定居下来,从此面朝大海春暖花开劈柴喂马。

这历史的终点处的风景,似乎就是一个海外中国人愿意留在美国的充分理由,奇妙的是,与此同时,它也是一个海外中国人愿意离开美国的充分理由。

在美国呆得时间长了,你会发现,几乎你所遇见的每一个中国人,都是一个祥林嫂。他们喋喋不休地反反复复地披星戴月地不断追问你追问自己:以后想不想回国去?以后想不想回国?以后想不想回国?……一直问到自己已经老到问不动了为止,问到自己住进了门外有草坪、草坪外有栅栏、栅栏里有花丛的房子之后突然发现生活这个秤砣已经把自己压在了美国梦的海底为止。

回还是不回,这真是一道算也算不清、解也解不开的多元方程题。

曾经,出国留学读学位,毕业留美找工作,娶妻生子买house,是一个水到渠成勿庸置疑的选择。但是,突然有一天,“市场经济的春风吹遍了祖国的大地”,一直在美国的实验室、图书馆、公司小隔间里默默耕耘着的中国人猛地抬头,发现太平洋彼岸,祖国的大地上已经千树万树梨花开了。紧接着,“坏消息”接踵而来。留学生开始听说以前住他隔壁的张三已经是国内某某大公司的经理了;还有那个不怎么地的李四,听说他小蜜已经换了半打了。然后,在一次回国的旅途中,他发现自己在美国吃的、穿的、玩的、乐的,只能望国内朋友们的项背了;还发现自己在为一个小数据的打印错误而向自己的部门经理频频道歉点头哈腰的同时,他的老同学,那个以前远远不如他的王二,此刻正坐在KTV包间里打着手机,说“那个房地产的项目贷款,我们还可以再协商协商……”;他也免不了察觉,自己的全部精神生活――如果他年少时候的“愤青”气息还没有被美国的阳光彻底晒化的话――就是窝在某个中文论坛,发两句明天就要被版主当作垃圾清理掉的牢骚而已,而与此同时,他的某某朋友已经成了国内媒体上的“专家学者”,在那些激动人心的关于“转型”的辩论中频频发言……固然,也不是没有听说某些老同学,甚至大部分老同学,其实混得也不怎么地,但是,夜深人静的时候,坐在床前明月光里,他还是感到了那些个“如果……”的诱惑。

不错,他的确,或最终会,住上美丽的房子。在经过那么年辛辛苦苦地读书、胆战心惊地找工作之后,“美国梦”实现了。买了大房子,门外有草坪、草坪外有栅栏、栅栏里有花丛。可是,说到底,有一天,他在院子里浇花的时候,突然沮丧地意识到,这样的生活,不过是那曾经被他耻笑的农民理想“面朝黄土背朝天,老婆孩子热炕头”的美国版本而已。

那么,他到底还要些什么呢?生活里到底还有些什么比“面朝黄土背朝天,老婆孩子热炕头”更伟大更性感更美丽呢?更大的房子?他现在的房子已经大得可以闹鬼了。更正宗的夫妻肺片?说实话,出国这么多年,他已经对辣的不那么感冒了。更多的工资?那是当然,不过他下次涨工资的日子其实也不远了……说到底,他内心的隐隐作疼,与这一切“物质生活”都没有什么关系,他所不能忍受的,是“历史的终结”,是那种生活的“尽头感”,是曾经奔涌向前的时间突然慢下来、停下来、无处可去,在他家那美丽的院子里,渐渐化为一潭寂静的死水。窗外的草坪,那么绿,绿得那么持之以恒,那么兢兢业业,那么克尽职守,那么几十年如一日,简直就象是……死亡。

而国内的生活呢?虽然据说有很多腐败,有很多贫富差距,小孩子有做不完的作业,农民有跑不完的上访,工人在不停下岗,甚至据说还曾经有人在路上走着走着就给逮进去打死了,可是,对于有志青年,中国这个大漩涡,是一个多么大的“可能性”的矿藏:愤青有那么多东西可战斗,资青有那么多钞票可以赚,文青有那么多感情可以抒发――历史还远远没有抵达它的尽头,未来还坐在红盖头里面激发他的想象力,他还可以那么全力以赴地向它奔跑,并且从这全力以赴中感受到“意义”凛冽的吹拂。

如果是这样?干嘛不回国算了?难言之痛,一回了之。

这时候,他又开始嗫嚅。他开始怀疑自己对国内的种种向往,也许只是“距离产生的美感”。他开始担心如果凑近了观察,会看到祖国脸上的麻子和粉刺。“毕竟,在中国创业,是要靠关系的,我又没有什么关系,回去也白回去。”他说。“美国再怎么不好,基本上还是一个凭本事和能力吃饭的地方,至少还有公平可言,不用平白无故受很多气。”他又说。接着,他想到国内走到哪里人们都是一拥而上没人排队人们随地吐痰环境污染严重,他感到头疼。又想到国内那些衣衫褴褛的民工一天工作 12个小时到年底竟然可能拿不到工资,他感到齿冷。还想到那些个被假药假酒假奶粉毒害的人们,因此又不可避免地感到胃疼。他越想越多,越想越疼,越想越害怕,最后不可避免地抵达了“文明”、“民
主”、“法治”等光芒四射的高度。

于是,他陷入了僵局。一会儿想到国内张三李四王二的刺激生活,一会儿又想到了国外王二李四张三的安稳命运。国内的生活,他看不到上限,因而充满希望,但也看不到底限,因而特别危险;国外的生活,他看得到底限,因而感到安全,但是也看得到上限,所以特别乏味。国内的生活象是买股票,可能升得快,也可能跌得快;而国外得生活象是定期存款,你挣不到哪里去,却也亏不到哪里去。啊,海外的游子,一个个高学历、高收入、高素质的三高“白骨精”,就这样被逼成了成天喋喋不休唠唠叨叨自言自语的“祥林嫂”。

有一次回国,我和几个朋友吃饭,其中一个说“Talktoher,你回国吧,中国多复杂啊――”。复杂,嗯,就是这个词,恰切,精确。对于一个有胃口的灵魂来说,“复杂”是多么基本的一种需要,而康州阳光下的郊区,美得那么纯粹,那么安静,对于习惯惹是生非的人来说,说到底是一种饥荒。

但是,又一个好朋友说了,他说:In today’s world, we have no choice but to be a cosmopolitan 。那是6年前,在我甚至没有出国的时候,一封长长的email里面不起眼的一句,可是我一口气记了这么多年,可见这句话里面的确有令我心动的东西。什么是世界主义?6年之后,我渐渐意识到,它也就是一个大的、“比较的”、“融会贯通的”、“批评的”的眼光,以及一份对“坐井观天”的警觉而已。

对“复杂”的向往,以及对“cosmopolitan”的留恋,让我暗暗希望,自己能过一辈子东跑西窜、颠沛流离的生活。这个愿望,使我觉得,自己是多么贪婪的一个人。贪图安稳,又贪恋刺激,有了Mr. China,还要Mr. USA。不,回不回国,不仅仅是一个“创业”的问题,甚至不仅仅是一个“文化”的问题,如果说这种贪婪是一种“犯贱”的话,我坚持要把它推卸到“娜拉的悲剧”这个哲学命题上去。在历史的道路上,人们披荆斩棘、奋勇前进,可是到达了历史的终点之后,啊,站在美利坚五月的美丽风景里,我惊恐而又伤感地想,人们对那坎坷不平然而激荡人心的道路,又犯起了“思乡病”。

one more thing for june 2005

mitbbs改版了。改得不好。

last day in june

it's quite a frantic ride this month. leaving out the negative parts, i will only try to remember the trip to chicago. "i'm speechless; i'm out of speech; i have no speech." it's actually better than nyc in many senses and this thought relieved me a little bit. i'm not that out of choice yet. everything is just the right size for me, with no bragging tone. a few notes to my trip:

* dinners
* michigan ave.
* navy pier
* fireworks
* wheel and swing
* big big ice balls (dun know what they call them there)
* lake tour
* speed boats
* buildings, or should i say the art of architecture
* the north beach
* lgbtq parade, which we did not really see but experienced in some way
* oh, and btw, i did my first ala poster session

there is still a "BUT" -- the service; my friend guessed that was some "mid-west" thing. so suck it up and enjoy!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

curb your enthusiasm

larry david,seinfeld show的executive producers之一,毫无疑问是个聪明人。估计这位老兄做完seinfeld后涨了银子也长了志气,要彻底抒发一下自己的情怀,于是有了这部curb your enthusiasm。 seinfeld每集各个小故事间的机缘巧合,和对我们的生活的无情嘲讽,在cur里得到了无限放大,让人觉得有点聪明过头,少了点平易近人之气;或者说是刻薄有余,亲切不足。如果将seinfeld比做mitbbs的movie版,那么curb就是这个站上不折不扣的第二幕(FilmArts)club,仅供一小撮人自娱自乐。

curb的另一点遗憾是,语言的生命力不够强,使这部show not recycle-worthy enough。我们可以看n年seinfeld,但只需要看1-2遍curb,就是因为seinfeld的语言太丰富,而curb的精彩主要在故事本身,“知道了”就行了。当然做这个评论我也许道行还太浅,毕竟我不是英语的native speaker,也不了解西岸的语言文化。所以就先shut up吧。

Saturday, June 18, 2005

2000/06/18

june 18, 2000, i got my visa to the u.s.a.
no one knew what it meant. today we still don't know.

Monday, June 06, 2005

a few updates

no movies;
moved from yu guan yin to huang cheng gen-er;
faye retired;
me to media/computer dept.;
hooked up to a mahjong game;
collecting seinfeld dvd;
... ...

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

“玉观音”

一直都把“玉观音”留宝似地留着,因为有无数的人对它交口称赞,其中不乏一些能与我臭味相投的人。昨晚,创纪录的高温让我的身心头脑都迟缓下来,正是看连续剧的状态,于是来补课。

看了一集,不解;二集,不忍;三集,干脆洗碗去了。基本感受是,情节老套,台词幼稚,表演做作...whatever else. 还会继续,一来精神生活贫瘠,二来不相信我相信的人的眼光会是这样的。

或者,此玉观音非彼玉观音?

Monday, May 23, 2005

五月, 结束, lame

忽然发现五月竟然是一个结束的季节,很多毕业,很多电视show的finale,还有luoisiana 90度的高温里酝酿着的很多杀人事件。这样一列,发现都是很人为的一些结束。可不是嘛,记忆里的五月应该是最好的季节,有娘的生日,有扎扎实实的阳光,和对初夏的期盼。quote 一下我自己:“当我们被生活剥削得越来越贫瘠时,才发现,年少时的梦可能就是我们一生的精神家园了。事实上,没法从头再来。”

两周前终于看了sex & the city的last episode,一直最关心的samantha的归宿问题终于有了交代,令人安心又失望,她终究还是和smith在一起了。当他们经历了cancer之后,我一直在暗自期待死亡将他们分开,可是终究没有,他们只是很lame地在一起了。原来lame也是一种不可得的福气。

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

如果我的电话完整了你这一天,你的关爱完整的岂止是我这一生!

但有时我很坏,会想,你还是不够爱我,否则,你怎会带我来到这个世界? 我很坏时会这样想,想想而已,不算数的。基本上我永远是跟在你身后去洗澡的傻姑娘,是坐在小餐桌前以碗为奏为你唱“红豆曲”的乖乖女。

Monday, May 09, 2005

disconnect the service

made the call and finished this battle with my isp. well, i lost the battle, because i ended up with nowhere, with no service. there is going to be another fight with my car service, which looks pretty dim though.

没有过的出奇得疲倦,疲倦得没劲厌烦。原来,keep up with life可以这么难。一个人时,解决吃饭问题,或者说不解决吃饭问题很容易,但是一个人想歇一口气就难了。

反正谁也没的说。

***************
周末看了sliding doors,没有以前那么喜欢了。更寡然。

放弃状态

放弃人生状态的一个重要标志是,连mit bbs都懒得看了。怕死了也没用。

一个去年一同来hmd的印度教授今天路过我的办公室,告诉我这是他最后一个礼拜在这里了,下一站是georgia southern university。问我近况如何,我说很slow,他说slow很好,我说,对很好。我想我们都是口是心非的。

Faye今天也提醒我说,这基本是她最后一周上班了,原来下两周她要休假。然后6月初就回来和大家拜拜了。于我,这意味着以后日子更难过,各个层面上的。

六月,hammond一定会很热了。

Sunday, May 01, 2005

movies of the weeks

"kung fu hustle" in theatre: 真是人怕出名猪怕壮,这么好的片子还有那么多人唾沫横飞地指点江山。
"一地鸡毛": 碟子不行了。
"太极旗飘扬":好长。满片全是战场厮杀,节奏掌握不好,让人好疲倦。
"十七岁单车":第一次看是两年前,在北卡。这次重看,感觉自己好像没看过。也好,重新新鲜一遍。
"心急吃不了热豆腐":草根文化总是很能打动我的,又是冯巩,很是期待的。不知为什么,这次满腔深情没发泄好,什么缘故呢?觉得人物设计有点单薄,有点为了不幸而不幸的感觉,于是强扭的瓜就不甜了。还有就是...我好困。

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

春眠不觉晓

ZZzzz...

Friday, April 22, 2005

movies last weekend

草房子:真惭愧,买了后这么晚了才看。更惭愧的是,没看出好来。是童年视角吧,缺乏震撼,也没被打动。画面的朴素宁静,是勿庸质疑的亮点。

As Good As It Gets: 不记得是第几遍重看了,还是跟着傻笑。

花样年华:不能再看王家为的东西了,越看越觉娇情,梁朝伟+张曼玉也弥补不了。重看电影,有时我们是在体味自己的变化。

Around the World in 80 Days: 成龙的这部电影刚出来时,就想去support一下。还没来得及查日期,定日子,片子就下市了。都说是个failure。完成任务似地过了一遍,感觉没有太糟。不过是没有创新的成氏作品重复罢了。至少比他的新警察故事能令人忍受一些。

周五牢骚

可能是周五吧,人疲倦得要命。堆着那么些事,却完全打不起精神,连在网上闲逛的心都没有。到这里来发两句牢骚,也不知所云。

有点烦自己的老人心态,看什么都觉没劲,看谁都像小孩,包括自己。总想骂一句:妈的,有病。可是好委屈,因为不是故意卖老的,其实是心里cynical, bitter得要命,比miranda是有过之而无不及的。

今天,kongfu hustle在全美公映。
今天,纽约华人反日游行。

msn space

最近碰到一些blogs,都移到msn space上了。观察了一番,觉得不太理解。msn提供的blog的界面(就我看到的几个而言),都有内容分类杂乱, overuse of msn logo (msn惯有的强奸民意的作风), 和版面crumbling的问题。blogger与之相比,就清爽简洁得多,继承了google的精神呀。当然,追求更大的自主,还是要去movable type。

据说,搬家的人是因为从国内用msn比用blogger快捷得多。哎,不是这一次了,总觉google太忽略中国市场了。

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

good luck, 老H

昨晚老朋友H突然call来,说月底就回国了,for good。是要去展宏图,兼并过日子的,自然衷心祝福。只是觉得在这里的战友又少了一个,不免更觉冷清,不免又反思追问自己的生活。什么问题也没解决,还是那个情绪,孤单想家,茫然求索,却又仍心有不甘。

想起最近做的一个关于送老友的梦,梦里的我有话说不出地噎着,只好拥抱告别;醒着的我并无二样,只好瞪着眼睛用力吃stawberry。

真希望一觉醒来,已是五十年后,不用再担心老去,不用再痛心分别,不用再怕面对时间流逝自己无所做为,不用再强打精神地说whatever;所有的这些不安,忐忑,和面具都通通给我尘埃落定,我可以眯起眼睛坐在阳光下,倚老卖老地想干嘛就干嘛,想不干嘛就不干嘛。

Thursday, April 14, 2005

这两天

偷偷在家放"编辑部的故事",还特来劲儿,成天当背景音乐似地放着.大概是总想有点人气,而这帮人正好够呱噪.

"in the waiting line"

i can't believe that there is this moment in sex and the city, when big's heart is widely open--for only one night,one fever night: "i'm talking about us,carrie...life is too short...what are we doing?" sadly, this seems to be only some fever talk of him; the next morning by the light of day, he is back to big and nothing ever happened.

"do you believe in what you see
motionless wheel nothing is real"

another one done

"once upon a time, we were poetic..." -- IE only at this time.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

"be cool"

偶看娱乐片是会睡着的。这样很不好。

Monday, April 11, 2005

google sightseeing

http://www.shreddies.org/gmaps/, a blog featuring google maps satellite view.

Friday, April 08, 2005

上周末电影

新周末又来了,先把上周末看的电影过一下:

bridget jones diary II--edge of reason: 除了gay妹妹灿烂的笑容以外,没什么印象了。倒是怀念起zellweger的另一部没那么火的电影,down with love,2003年拍的一部setting在60年代的轻喜剧,modern和怀旧揉合得很好。

求爱上上签:dun remember a bit of it.看的主要目的是想将它从硬盘上删掉。

一个陌生女人的来信:如果你怀着十几岁时看琼瑶小说的态度来看,还是不错的;所以说,关键是一个态度问题。另外,徐妹妹的背很好看,演戏很一般,做导演还是有前途的。另外,孙飞虎的表演很到位呀,没说两句话,眼神就看得俺几乎要两眼汪汪。

大城小事:一部绝对的可有可无的港片,或者说就是可无的港片。求求王菲大姐,别再拍片了,从重庆森林开始,就到处拖着一口变味儿的痞子腔乱混,到哪儿都一样,真正亵渎了表演二字。(声明,俺是王菲的歌迷,虽然不到九段的高度。)

Thursday, April 07, 2005

忽然发现

自己很有自虐情节,比如从不泊最好的车位,喜欢看电影却不舍得看,不随便穿喜欢的衣服,等等。据我自己分析,应该是小时候物资匮乏的后遗症。惨呐惨呐。

上个周末看的电影还没呱噪,先给自己提个醒。

Friday, April 01, 2005

棋王

“棋王”里的梁家辉总让我想起他在“爱在他乡的季节”里的造型,一个是代表六,七十年代的中国大陆知青,一个是代表八,九十年代的中国大陆最早出国的一批人。但他演的两个角色差别不大,都是些许单纯,些许落魄。两部电影都是非大陆的中国人在说大陆的故事,都有点不是那么回事儿,不很地道。

其实还原历史是很困难的。我们自认为对中国近代现代史的认识是最为接近历史原貌的,以我们的标准在衡量别人的还原。但任何一种还原都有某一种意识形态的烙印,所以这一切也许只是一种意识形态对另一种意识形态的判断,结果最好不过是五十步笑百步。

Thursday, March 31, 2005

嗨,北卡,别来无恙

真的又回去北卡的山间了,没有梦中的滑轮车,但初春的灰白里夹杂着嫩绿弱红的山景,也让一路的driving生气勃勃。没有山的水的活动总是有限的,无非是微波荡漾或惊涛拍岸;但没有水的山的景致依然连绵起伏,依然浮光幻影,色彩斑斓。

都说仁者爱山,智者爱水,其实还有俗者,爱的当然是高楼大厦。我应该是个不折不扣的俗者,山水只是用来换口味的。罪过罪过。

至于chapel hill之旅,完全是走马观花式的。走了该走的路,喝了该喝的咖啡,拍了该拍的照,你还有什么不满意的呢?想用不到两天的时间重验两年的日子,本来就是不切实际的贪婪。所以该瞑目啦。

看到自己以前住的apartment现在并没有人在住,松了口气。而发现上次没能带走的水管竟还别来无恙地躺在那里,更是如获至宝地搬上了车。嗯,搬家活动圆满结束。

Monday, March 21, 2005

weekend movies

暖春:2003年的大陆片,有获国内华表奖的什么奖项。surprisingly得幼稚,从故事到拍摄到演员,彻头彻尾的80年代。题目让人浮想连天(why?早春二月?),看完后有点茫然失措,觉得导演和我们开了个大玩笑。然后拍拍自己的脑袋说,谁说电影再不能这样拍了?

blow dry(爱情洗剪吹):英国人讲故事嘛,总会有点小伤感的。不过里面的女演员都好好pp的说。

Friday, March 18, 2005

昨晚有看"孔雀"

是一部个人色彩很浓的散文式电影。将往事随意地铺展在我们面前,如同记忆的碎片留在我们心中。所以影片有一种支离破碎的效果,但并不影响我们理解那些有限的情节。当然有没有交代的地方,比如老三的断指,但这也正符合了该片的情绪,一种放松的,不期待的,任飘零的气质。

网上比较popular的反对意见有:
某些情节不真实,比如老二骑车拉降落伞,老二为要回降落伞abruptly地脱裤子。我的态度是,这是导演诗意化的安排,与全片散文诗的意境并不违背,是文学升华的需要吧。
病态的家庭,没有普遍性。这没错, and? 极端是可以拍电影的。而且影片中的极端实际上是我们都会有的心理的一种夸大而以。但我以为,电影没有处理好的是对人物性格的铺垫,造成了观众与角色的疏离。
too much怀旧符号,为怀旧而怀旧。这点俺完全同意,就是导演有点过。

至于青春啊,叛逆啊,逃脱啊,理想与现实的反差啊,是永恒的主题,俺没什么好废话的,只静心期待有一天我们能出一部“四百下”。

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

google x

googleX, and more about it.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

汇报

上周末看的电影有:
看车人的七月--混淆有“红西服”的城市平民的酸楚,“十七岁单车”的少年人的惆怅,和“漂亮妈妈”的有限的爆发。反正大陆拍这种片子是最内行了。
the robots--精致,得体的少年梦。25岁以下不宜。

happy b-day, 老爸!

年年有今日,岁岁有今朝!

in my dream last night

又乘滑轮车远去了,在北卡的山间。嗯,也许该去smoky mountains了, or the blue ridge parkway indeed?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

try to frequent the last one

i never advocate pseudo-chinese culture. i'm not excited about these two either: danwei and hanzismatter.

yet the best discovery of the day--drawn. this is something you should come up with! i don't know what you are doing there all day long! okay, i'm satisfied and can go back to work now.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

a hypothesis frowning

google hired mark lucovsky from microsoft and some people are now confirmed that google wants to control os market. others are suggesting that google is trying to replace this os age w/ web service age. accordingly, we should be able to access all our document and practice all our operation anywhere we want. in other words, the moment you turn on ur computer, u r on google.

let's just say that this is google's ambition, or one of. i wouldn't feel comfortable putting my files on any web server, even if it's google. i wanna see how google assure users like me. well, no outsider can say what google is really up to. but one thing does bother me: technology can do everything, but why do we want it to do everything?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

sink

feel brain dead these days. so does dufn; so does guo8; so does guo8's friend; so do many people. so it's not my fault. so i'm justified. so i can indulge. so i'm sitting there and staring at the white ceiling.

typing is a good thing.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

1 yr anniversary

so it's been a yr now:
optimized the structure behind the library's web site while there is nothing we can do about the front end of the scene;
started the usability assessment;
a more cluttered office;
a more cluttered desktop;
a few more pics on the wall;
been to my 1st ala conference (wish i could do a poster session this year);
passed the supervisory stage;
have less coffee...

"and it's been 10 yrs since my freshman yr", i looked into the mirror this morning and thought to myself. if i could have a chance to go back and talk to that tom-boy-hair gal, i would pat on her right shoulder and say,"relax. life is unpredictable but in the end it's right". so let the suffer be suffer; let the laugh be laugh. cuz in the end everything will be just right.

knock knock...me in 10 yrs is at the door now.

Monday, February 28, 2005

yankee or dixie

yankee or dixie, a test based on results from the Harvard Computer Society Dialect Survey of 30788 respondents.

here is my score: 49% (Yankee). Barely into the Yankee category.
well, i know that i actually fall into no category. i'm just a foreigner who is lost in her dialect identity....em...i'm thinking about a new project for myself now...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

二月底

就这几天,到hmd一年了。这一年的生活容量可以搪塞自己了。
(小丸子,新年新气象,来说说你新年的新气象。)

Monday, February 21, 2005

再见,有些东西

相濡以沫不如相忘于江湖。
对“江湖”的感受是,MTV式的电影语言运用自如,可以清晰看见香港黑帮片健康成长的足迹,可喜可贺。可也许毕竟领导班子太过年轻化,故事讲得不够生动不够真诚,有点为赋新词强说愁之闲,算是年轻人的通病了吧。

再读“孤独得象一颗星球”,体会与一年多前竟大不相同。也不知是因为自己心态变老了,还是理解力下降,对于故事中人物一些本该深刻的孤独感不仅不再自艾或同情,简直mock到鼻子哼破。对此转变心中无悲无喜。虽然觉得陈朗在那个宁静的下午要与平瘠的周禾分手是文学女青年的“作”加矫情,但对drunkpiano的文字能力仍不悔滔滔江水般的敬仰之情。

Monday, February 14, 2005

hitch

it's a so-so story, if not bullsh*t. but still quite see-able for the sake of will smith.

cooper

something comes and something goes. 這便是塵寰中消長數應當

Thursday, February 10, 2005

mardi gras/san antonio weekend

enjoyed riverwalk, a free hard rock meal, and two movies: 功夫&霍尔的移动城堡.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

这个礼拜

too much french fries and ame. junk food. 今天照镜子。。。“猪。。啊!。。。”

okay, from this hour on diet 中。

Friday, January 28, 2005

不爽

人生又多一不爽: 梦见已故的亲人,醒来时后悔没在梦里与他们亲近。总这样,真郁闷!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Friday, January 21, 2005

picasa2

watching picasa2 work over your system is such a joyful experience. you gotta take a moment to take its tour cuz google never gives you those blah blah blah nonsense.

for instance, picasa allows you to keep one picture in multiple albums, without taking up more space on your computer. don't you see the "search, don't sort" idea that supports gmail? from the features like "Edit", "Share", and "Create", you see a creative merge of ps, im, and even blogging.

admire.......

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

yesterday

昨天是极平淡的一天,我没有take it off,让工作把我打发掉。晚上在家,吃前一天做的意大利面,看了电影20,30,40,和电视里放的sex and the city。很平静,就这样,我希望从今后年年如此。

本来是想选“五岁庵”来看的,但明白那是一个悲剧故事,便有些reluctant。最终证明,选看“20,30,40”是对的。因为电影本身很好看,且对自己又颇有寓言效果,好几处的贴近看得我瞠目结舌又捧腹大笑。一直以为我的失落只是我的,可是最近才发现,除却外壳,很多人的生活本质是惊人相似的。我们都看电影,喝咖啡,都和朋友泡电话煲,却又都还是restless and lonely,无论你是在hammond or taipei or shanghai or beijing。也许我的生活又打了一个圈,我该重拾萨特了。

站在20和30之间,我对小洁的故事释然又怜爱,因为那充满稚气的青春还历历在目,青春是美丽呀,却太过茫然;对LILY的故事陌生却害怕,陌生于这个40岁女人的伤痛,又害怕那一天的降临;对30岁想想的彷徨不安和精疲力尽我只有连筋带骨的认同。30岁一切已经展开,却还不知去向;它喧闹于表却孤寂于心。你有点知道自己想要什么了,却不再有那么多追求的胆量。毕竟是电影,想想到最后还在言爱,还得到了妈妈的sign,but to quote tbs "reality is not funny"。

好吧,新岁新气象,今岁的目标是,学习学习再学习。

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

do u know

陕北民歌 <<知道不知道>>

山青水秀太阳高,好呀么好风飘,
小小船儿撑过来,它一路摇呀摇,
为了那心上人,起呀么起大早,
也不管呀路迢迢,我情愿多辛劳。

山青水秀太阳高,好呀么好风飘,
一心想着他呀他,我想得真心焦,
为了那心上人,睡呀么睡不着,
我只怕呀找不到,那叫我怎么好。

山青水秀太阳高,好呀么好风飘,
三步两脚跑呀跑,快赶到土地庙,
我情愿陪着他,陪呀么陪到老,
除了他呀都不要,他知道不知道。

刘若英《知道不知道》
那天的云是否都已料到
  所以脚步才轻巧
  以免打扰到
  我们的时光
  因为注定那么少
  风吹着白云飘
  你到哪里去了
  想你的时候
  哦 抬头微笑知道不知道

this martin luther king jr. weekend

任逍遥:另一群小武;小贾在这部影片里并没有成长,但也决不让人失望。
安娜.玛德莲娜:清淡轻松;客串们很好玩。
霸王别姬:这次没认真看,罪过。
一个都不能少:真希望老谋子再拍点农村题材。
可可西里:俺太困看睡着了,需要重来。
新警察故事:老套,没看下去,打算实在没片子时再看吧。
刘若英单身演唱会:小才女,8cuo 8cuo。
中国式离婚:一个在演电视剧,一个在演话剧;有点丑化妇女形象。

by the way, 小声说一句,happybirthdaytomyself.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

看了无贼了

俺的心得是,作为一部通俗电影不错了;就个人好恶而言,俺谈不上喜欢。
故事:情节性比较强,比张某某有专业精神,不失聪明认真的冯氏之作。
结构:有发人疲劳之嫌,不知是不是因为俺太累了。
音乐:单曲都不赖,可是整体上不统一,且对特定的场景并没起到突出强调的作用,让俺有有情抒不出的郁闷。
摄影:tnnd,张艺谋是棵大毒草,连冯gg都中了毒;那么多不合时宜的慢镜头,晃的俺昏昏欲睡。
对白:出彩的也就黎叔,抑或还是当年的袁四爷?哎,果然是21世纪最缺人才呀。